


You and Yourself

by MallowJum



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MallowJum/pseuds/MallowJum
Summary: Garnet tells Steven the story of her officially being declared a member of the Crystal Gems.
Relationships: Garnet & Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Garnet & Steven Universe, Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	You and Yourself

One step, right leg. One step, left leg. She's not used to being tall. Long legs, long torso, everything seems long. And she's definitely not used to this heightened perspective. 

One step, right leg. One step, left leg. She's not used to being _her._ She isn't used to future vision, yet it seems so familiar nonetheless. She isn't used to her newfound impulsivity, yet it feels like nothing new at all. 

One step, right leg. One step, left leg. She doesn't even know her own name. A name meant rank - a name indicated how important you are. The name 'Ruby' carries only a fraction of the importance of the name 'Sapphire'. So - what is her name? What importance does her name carry? 

One step, right leg. One step, left leg. Once arriving at the river coursing through the colorful forest, she drops to her knees and leans forward. She stares at the water, and three eyes look back. 

"This is…me." 

Besides the three eyes, she sees a plethora of new and familiar things. Her hair is pink and blue - the colors seemingly intertwining, as if they were stitched together. She didn't know color could look like this - work together like this. It seems accidental more than anything - like someone tipped over two paint cans - but it doesn't look bad. She softly touches the hair strands. She… likes this. It's nice. 

It's certainly unusual. This isn't Sapphire. This isn't Ruby. This is… this is-

"Garnet." 

The name comes like a flash, from somewhere deep inside of her. The reflection smiles. 

"Garnet. Gar-net. G-A-R-N-E-T." 

She lets the sound of the name bounce through the air. It feels right in every way. Like a pair of gloves that perfectly fit. 

"Garnet?" 

She swings around to the source of the voice, almost falling into the water. It's Rose. 

"What's that mean?" she asks, kneeling in front of her. 

"Th-thats my name," Garnet regains her balance, and sits down properly. 

"Oh?" Rose's eyes sparkle. "What a beautiful name." 

Garnet looks down and smiles bashfully. "I know. Thank you." 

"So," Rose looks over her shoulder, "what are you doing here?" 

She turns back towards the river and Rose sits down next to her, letting her legs dangle in the water. 

"Just exploring. Earth is… beautiful. Everywhere I go, I see something different." 

"I get what you mean." she nods thoughtfully. "You're originally from homeworld, right?" 

"Not me. Sapphire is. Ruby is from one of yellows colonies. But me?" Garnet looks at her hands, and flexes her fingers. "I'm from earth. I formed here first, after all." 

"So, you… you are completely separate from Ruby and Sapphire?" 

"No! They're still - they're still uh, here, in a way. It's more like I - um, I am the bond - the connection the two share." 

Rose nods slowly. "This is… not to be disrespectful, but this is so interesting."

"Not only that," Garnet looks at her hands, one pink and one blue. "It's not only interesting. It's - it's amazing. It's-" she hugs herself, "it's _lovely."_

"It really is…" Rose looks out over the river and Garnet can see her mind reeling. 

"So, um. Rose. If you don't mind me asking, what are you planning?" 

"Planning? Currently nothing. If you're talking about the big plan, that's pretty much liberating earth." 

"From the diamonds, right…" Garnet leans back to stare at the sky, and supports her weight with her arms behind her back on the floor. "Is it - is it even possible? To make them change their minds? To make pink diamond change her mind?" 

Rose seems to breathe in sharply. "We won't know until we try. And what do we have to lose? They're would shatter us either way." 

Garnet thinks about her words. "That's probably not the best way to think about this. Our lives are-" important? One-of-a-kind? "Precious. They're _our_ lives."

Rose smiles, and Garnet sees something sad in that smile, something sad in her soul. "You are completely right, Garnet." she stands up, looking up. "But this war is worth fighting. For us. For the creatures on here. For earth. I will do everything I can do to win this war."

They both stay silent for a bit. 

"Rose, will earth win this fight?" 

Rose looks into Garnet's eyes. "I don't know Garnet. You tell me." she smiles. "With your future vision and all." 

Garner looks back at her reflection, at her third eye. 

"Look," Rose gets back down on her eye level. "I was searching for you because I wanted to ask you something." 

"Huh?" 

"I wanted to ask you…do you want to be part of the Crystal Gems?" 

Garnet holds her breath. "What?" 

"I know this is a lot to ask of you but - if you feel up to the task - if you feel like this is the right thing to do - please! Join us!" 

"Oh - of, of course! Of course I wanna help! This- this is- of course!" 

Rose's smile spreads from one ear to the other. "If that's the case… I officially declare you a member of the Crystal Gems!" 

* * *

"And that's how you became a Crystal Gem?" Steven repositions his head on Garnets lap to be more comfortable. The sand under their hands seems softer than usual, which logically doesn't make much sense - same old beach, same old sand. It just _is_ softer, and Garnet won't argue with her brain telling her that. She looks up at the night sky, and while it's different from back then - less stars are visible, due to the light pollution - it's still beautiful in every way. 

The full moon, painted silently and statically over the neverending sea, could almost be thought of as haunting, lonely. But the ever-present weight on her leg makes her admire the view. 

"I was planning on asking Pear and Rose myself to help them fight for earth. That's why I was so happy when your mother asked me first." she smiles down at Steven, one of her hands combing through his unkempt hair. Her fingers get stuck in some of the knots in his hair, but she carefully entangles them. 

"And - and you looked different back then?"

Garnet chuckles, remembering her old form. "Yes. As did Pearl. And Amethyst also looked different when she first emerged. While we retreat to our gem after poofing, we are able to change our appearance when we reform."

"And mom?" 

"I-" Garnet cocks her head. "I've never seen Rose actually poof."

Steven's face turns to one of amazement. "But - but you also don't poof often right?" 

She smiles. "I try." 

Steven looks carefully at Garnet and then asks, "could you tell me of how you changed your form?" 

"You want to hear a story about me poofing? That's a little rude, Steven." she puts a finger on his nose and taps. "You should go to sleep little man. It's already late." 

Steven pouts. "But we rarely get time to talk like this!" 

Garnet frowns. It's not like they don't talk to Steven - he probably means meaningful conversations like these. "I promise that I'll make time for us to talk like this again. And we'll be sitting right here." she pats the sand. "Is that okay with you, Steven?" 

He nods, not completely satisfied but at least not sad. "Alright. It's a promise!" 

"It's a promise." 

With that, Steven runs back to the house, leaving Garnet at the beach. She watches him climb up the stairs. 

The story of Garnets poofing - of Garnet getting her new form - it wasn't necessarily one she wants to tell Steven about. 

* * *

The story starts like many stories do from back in the day. 

A battlefield. Chaos. Orders. Orders from who? Her side? The homeworlds side? One fight. One fight won. Another fight. Another fight won. Shouts and screams. The sound of gems hitting the floor. A third fight. The third fight won. Situation compromised. Injured. 

Backed into a corner. 

"Surrender now and no one gets hurt!" the gem in front of her has a sword shoved up in Garnet's face, but she tries to be casual about it. 

"Do you know how ridiculous you sound? I know that you'll shatter me, no matter what I'll do." 

The enemy gem thrusts her sword forward as a warning. "Keep your mouth shut. If you know what's good for you, that is." 

Garnet does keep her mouth shut, but not because of the enemy gem. She needs to figure out how she can create an opening. Her future vision shows her 3 possibilities:

The first - the gem gets tired of her, dissipate her form, and shatters both of Ruby's and Saphire's gems. 

The second - the gem dissipates her, but one of her friends picks up her gems before she can be shattered. 

And, the third - the gem gets distracted by the surrounding fight and that leaves Garnet an opening. 

It worries her that two of the possibilities end in her dissipation - that means it's more likely to happen - but she knows not to rely on the future. 

"Aren't you worried about your fighter friends?" she tries. 

"They know what they're doing." the tip of her blade approaches Garnet. 

"So what are you waiting for? I don't get it." 

"Why I don't dissipate you? Because I am merciful. Surrender yourself." 

Garnet stays quiet again. She closes her third eye. The future is too shaky right now - she doesn't know what will happen either way. 

"Wait." the gem takes a closer look at her. "Three eyes? And the weird colors? Are you - are you that freak fusion? Back at one of the early rebel attacks?" 

Garnet takes a step back, but the enemy gem stays on her trail and follows with a step forward. 

"It - it is you! The Ruby and Sapphire!" Garnet can hear the fury in her voice. "Of course an - an abomination like you would join those rebels!" 

The anger fires up in Garnets throat, and every nerve telling her to stay calm, gets burned with it. "Shut up! You have no idea what you're talking about!" her weapon forms at her arm, but before she could do any damage, the sword slides right through her chest. 

It shouldn't hurt - and it doesn't - but the shock in her brain ripples down through her entire body, leaving her completely frozen. She holds her breath, trying to maintain her form. 

Her third eye won't close, and images of her being shattered play before her inner eye. She needs to keep her form. She needs to keep her form. She needs to-

Pearl.

Pearl appears out of nowhere behind the enemy gem, and slashes right through her. 

She poofs, as does her weapon. 

Garnet follows suit. 

* * *

Pearl quickly pockets the two gems. 

While running through the battlefield, she searches for Rose - she needs to be safe. She finds her in the middle of the vortex, fighting against a vigorous Jasper. She seems to be unharmed - and the Jasper sweats in exhaustion. Pearl hesitantly concludes that her intervening will only be inconvenient. 

As much as she dislikes leaving Rose alone, she also doesn't want Garnet to be in danger. 

With no plan in mind, Pearl flees the battlefield. 

* * *

Garnet takes way too long to reform - it has been 3 weeks now. Either Rose or Pearl always keep her gems by their side, so that they wouldn't be alone once she reforms but slowly they get worried about the whole thing. 

"They sure are taking their time," Pearl muses, one hand by her chin. "The damage wasn't even that bad. I'd be able to reform after 2 weeks max. And I'd imagine that Garnet is sturdier than I am." 

Rose nods. "It makes our people nervous as well." she inspects Sapphire's gem. "I guess…I never really appreciated her calming aura." 

"I know that I shouldn't be pushy but-" Pearl looks somewhat pained. "I really wish she'd come back soon. It's weird without her here." 

As on cue, the blue gemstone in Rose's hand starts glowing. 

"Ah!" Rose quickly puts it down on the floor. 

The stone emits a bright light, and just a few seconds later, a small figure sits in its place. 

Sapphire takes a panicked first breath and puts a hand on her chest. 

"Ruby?" she calls out, still delirious. 

Rose and Pearl looks down at the lost gem, and then sit down in front of her. 

"S-Sapphire, we," Rose isn't used to addressing Garnet as Sapphire. "We're save. The battle is over for now." 

Sapphire shoves the hair out of her eye and takes a closer look at the two gems in front of her. 

"I - we were stabbed and-" 

"We know. It's alright Sapphire." Rose gives her a reassuring smile. "Garnet did well during the battle. And we're just glad that Pearl was here to pick up your gems." 

Sapphire nods slowly, remembering Pearl approaching the enemy gem. She also remembers-

"The gem - the gem said that-" she shakes her head. "No. No, nevermind."

Pearl and Rose share a look. 

"Where's Ruby?" Sapphire stands up and dusts the dirt off her dress. 

"She hasn't reformed yet," Rose takes out the Ruby gem. 

"Oh." it's weird. Sapphire thought Ruby to come back first. "Is it okay if I take care of her?" she stretches out her arm, expecting Rose to place the gem in her hand. 

She looks concerned, yet she gives her Ruby. 

"I'll go then. Thank you for looking after me." 

Sapphire makes her way outside the temporary base Pearl and Rose set up, only to be stopped by those two. 

"Sapphire?" 

"Yes?" 

"It was…nice talking to you. Alone I mean. It's not like we get the opportunity a lot." 

Sapphire smiles. "I agree." and with that she leaves. 

* * *

After she's out of her friends visual range, she starts running. She cradles Ruby's gem with her shaky hands, holding it close to her chest. She doesn't notice the icy trail she leaves behind, tiny little ice crowns on flowers and blades of grass. She doesn't notice the tears that blur her vision, running down her face. 

Only once she is out of breath, she slows down, coming to a halt. After taking a few breaths, she sits down and takes a look at her surroundings. 

She's in the middle of a field, full of colorful flowers. There are blue ones, red ones, purple ones. 

She runs her thumb over the cold gem in her hand. 

"Ruby…"

She misses Ruby. She misses being Garnet together with her. 

_"An abomination"_

Sapphire shakes her head. The homeworld gem didn't know didn't know how - how amazing fusion is. How important it is to her. 

She loves being Garnet and more importantly, she loves being Garnet with Ruby. 

_"The freak fusion"_

Sapphire tries to dry her tears. It doesn't work. 

Why? Why does it bother her so much? Why does she care what a homeworld gem thinks of her? 

"Oh, Ruby," her shaky voice barely carries over to the red gem. She lowers her head and presses her closer to her heart. She doesn't want to be selfish - she knows she shouldn't pressure Ruby on reforming earlier than she wants to. But she needs her right now. 

She takes a deep breath, and wipes away the tears, coming to terms with the fact that Ruby will simply take her time with reforming. 

She presses a quick kiss against the gemstone and-

It begins to glow. 

Sapphire hecticly puts the gem in front of her, and watches how the undefined light turns into Ruby's silhouette. 

"Ruby!" Sapphire springs up and throws her hands around Ruby. "Ruby! You're back!" 

"I-" the confused gem reciprocate the hug. "I guess I am. What's going on Sapphire?" 

She smiles. When she's healing inside her gem, time always seems to stretch so weirdly - and while it's more dreamlike in there, she still missed the sound of Ruby's voice. 

"The- the fight is over for now," she tells her breathlessly. She takes a small step back, letting Ruby adjust to being reformed. 

"Where are we?" she takes a look around, only to see flowers upon flowers upon flowers. 

"Um, I don't know exactly, I-" she sighs. "I ran and. Well, I ended up here." 

"You ran? Why?" 

"Because I wanted to be alone. I also just reformed." 

"Why'd you take me with you then?" 

Sapphire smiles. "Being with you is always nice."

Ruby can't help but smile too. She presses a kiss against Sapphire's nose. "Let's find a way back. Shouldn't be so hard with your future vision, right?" 

"Ruby, one more thing," Sapphire takes both of her hands, and directly looks into her eyes. "We are never, ever going to let anyone make us feel bad about being…us. About being Garnet. Alright?" 

The threatening tone in her voice was clearly not directed at Ruby, but it was so unusual that she was still taken aback by it. 

Still, Ruby nods. 

"Everyday I learn something new about you Sapphy," she smiles. "And everyday I love you a little bit more." 

Sapphire immediately loses the threatening vibe, and instead blushes like Ruby never said 'I love you' before. 

"Oh, you're so embarrassing," she giggles. 

"But only to see you blush," Ruby teases. 

They both laugh, and in a fit of happiness, Ruby picks up Sapphire and spins her around and-

There she was again. Garnet. 

In a short moment of bliss, she wraps her arms around herself, her eyes shut. On her face, a content smile. 

She opens her eyes, and is surprised to see her vision colored yellow. A hand trails up her face, and she finds - a visor. 

"Huh." 

She looks at her hand that was by her new visor. It was - she flips the visors up to get a better look at it - purple. 

Her hand is purple. And her other hand. And - well, she looks completely different. 

This wasn't intended. Neither Sapphire nor Ruby thought about changing Garnets form yet - this happened. 

Not…not that she's complaining. She puts the visor back over her eyes. 

"It is a nice look." 

* * *

The wind blows over the empty beach of Beach City, short of Garnet. 

She smiles. Ruby took to heart what Sapphire told her back then - they never, ever felt bad about being them - about being Garnet. 

She looks at the two gems on her palms. 

Ruby loves being Garnet. Sapphire loves being Garnet. This is something she can be one hundred percent sure of - simply because she loves being herself. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if it's rlly clear, but the parts in the present are during like, season 3 or something.  
> Anyways, I just finished this at 11pm so!! There might be some weird wordings or smth, I'll look over it again tomorrow  
> Kudos and especially comments are really appreciated! :) hope you enjoyed reading this!


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